Baby Steiner was unplanned, but is very welcome. Without going too far in detail, I'd just like to say that it's absurd how good at getting pregnant Marc and I are. In my mind the odds of me getting knocked up were zero, but passion tends to create a larger margin for error I suppose. Maybe we should have taken high school health class more seriously, but, whatever, we're stoked to be parents.
Baby Steiner was most likely conceived on our anniversary trip to Fredericksburg, TX. We stayed at a charming Switzerland meets Texas B&B with a cow skin rug and a jacuzzi tub for two. There wasn't much around other than ducks, wineries, and a history museum, so we spent plenty of time in the cabin. It was a fun trip.
I'm now 4 1/2 months pregnant with a fairly noticeable baby bump. Being pregnant is not a party. My moods are nutty, I feel fat, I fart and burp like a truck driver, getting good sleep seems close to impossible, and there are days when I'm certain I won't make it through without smashing a window or kicking a child I'm supposed to be educating. Seeing things in a negative way has been so easy and so unhelpful. It doesn't enhance the quality of my life to be working my ass off at two jobs. However, I'm sure I'll be glad I did it when I go on FML in June and don't have my own steady income for a little while. Plus I want to buy my husband a car.
I feel isolated, and when I mentioned this to a friend the other day, she ever so kindly suggested that I am self-isolating. I don't think so. I think that everybody I love is just so stinkin' busy and involved with work and their own lives that it's close to impossible to nurture very comfortable relationships.
I can't wait to drink again. Drinking will certainly enhance my social life.
Anyway, we find out the gender of the baby on Tuesday. We can't wait! I'm close to certain that it's a boy, but the confirmation will give me permission to allow myself to start accepting that this is really happening.
IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.
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