Northern Exposure

I'm sitting at my father in law's desk in Bolton, MA, watching the rain and sipping on spiked egg nog. Marc is in the kitchen preparing a Lobster feast while a local radio station plays their "Big Band Brunch" segment. Tonight we will be driving into Boston to go to the Boston Symphony Orchestra's holiday show. There's no rush or strain in sight. I've got a peaceful, easy feeling, and I'm looking forward to returning to Austin tomorrow with a refreshed perspective.

Our trip has been wonderful.

We left last Monday for Philadelphia. When we arrived we quickly remembered how cold and gloomy Philadelphia Decembers can be. Poor Marc's face was completely swollen due to an infected tooth, and a fever left him feeling pretty miserable. I, however, felt great. Despite a rough start, everything worked out and we've had many an adventure since we've continued on.

Highlights:

*Roast Pork sandwiches with Provolone and Broccoli Rabe from Dinic's in Reading Terminal Market

*Complimentary Cider from the Warwick Hotel

*Upgraded Suite and Amenities

*A festive evening at The Locust Rendevous with my old UArts friends

*Driving around Philly with Jamison and finishing a very late night at our favorite haunt, Little Pete's

*A complimentary lunch at McCormick & Schmick's where Marc and I met in '08

*Stopping by UArts to visit with old professors

*Shopping at Macy's

*Dinner at the magnificent Parc restaurant

*Another fun filled evening at the Vous with many of Marc's friends

*A wonderful train ride into northwestern New Jersey

*A tour of Susex County and the lake community where Marc's sister and her family lives

*A festive traditional Swiss meal of Raclette

*Hanging out and being super silly with Marc's neice and nephew, Emma and Liam

*Drinking too much wine

*Taking a pleasant bus ride into NYC

*Canal Street

*Little Italy

*A fantastic meal in China Town

*5th Ave

*The Rockafeller Center and Christmas Tree

*The Broadway show, The Scottsboro Boys (tickets front row center)

*Drinks with good friends at The Art Bar in the village

*Late night chats with Brad and Emma at their adorable apartment in Washington Heights

*A trip to Boston on the Megabus with an insaine driver who almost killed us 4 times

*Relaxing in Bolton with Marc's dad, great food, classy drinks, and tons of music

*Seeing the incredible Boston Pops BSO show

Now we're relaxed and ready for X-Mas! We miss our little monsters at home, but we know they're in good hands, so we're going to enjoy the time we have left.

Yoko is a Super Star

Turkey Time

Marc and I shared our first Thanksgiving together yesterday. It was so nice. We spent the morning sleeping, and rolled out of bed a quarter past noon. Marc got to cooking and I went to work to suffer the relentless musical stylings of Hillary Duff and Taylor Swift as they took on covers of "Last Christmas" and "Feliz Navidad". I returned home around six to the smells of turkey and stuffing. The apartment was so clean and cozy. Marc had a roaring fire going, and some of our new table decor set up for dinner. We had cocktails and talked about how thanful we are for each other and for the countless blessings in our lives. Then we ate and ate and ate and ate. Yoko and Otto even got some Turkey. It was a wonderful first Thanksgiving.

My Favorite Wedding Shots

My Favorite Engagement Shots

My How Time Flies!

Tomorrow is our one month wedding anniversary. I can't believe it! It feels like we got married yesterday.

Married life is so much better than I imagined it to be. Yes, it has only been a month, but that has certainly been enough time for me to realize how much of a comfort and joy it is to have a committed partner in life. Coming home to Marc every day is such a gift. Good day or bad day, at the end of it, I get to giggle in his arms and hear the words "I love you." I get to smell him. I get to hug him. I get to eat his delicious cooking. I get to listen to his stories. I get to sleep with him all night long, and wake up to the sound of his stupid Rooster alarm. I get to greet him in the morning with a silent sleepy hug before he hands me a steaming mug of coffee.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found such a wonderful and intelligent man, who loves me as much as I love him.

Leading up to the wedding, I was so scared of the D-word. The potential for it seems so high these days. But that fear has certainly subsided now that we're past the big event. I realize now that we are our own masters. We decide to give up or not. And Marc and I have been through tough times before and we've come out stronger. He is my soul mate, and I would be foolish to ever take that for granted and not work to improve any potentially harmful situation. We are adults and we share the same belief that marriage is sacred and worth every hardship it may face.

The honeymoon is set for the 6th through the 13th of December. We're starting in Philly, going through NYC, and ending in Boston. I am so excited to get away with the man of my dreams.

Some Things Are Meant to Be

I had a miscarriage. It started with a little blood yesterday afternoon. Then I started to feel small cramps last night before I went to bed. Around 4 in the morning my cramps woke me up. I went to the bathroom and the floodgates opened.

The past few days have been a very difficult and painful experience to say the least.

However, I'm okay. Considering how happy and excited I was about the baby, I feel a strong sense of relief. It just wasn't meant to be, and one day, when Marc and I are ready, we will have a baby.

I learned a lot from this very brief pregnancy. Onward and upward.

"Time will do the talking. Years will do the walking. I'll just find a comfy spot and I'll wait it out."

My First Mother's Day

Marc gave me a card with a frowning pregnant lady on it. It says, "For nine months, you get to eat and cry and complain and sleep and be completely and totally unreasonable... (turn the cover) And then it's your baby's turn. Congratulations on your pregnancy!" But Marc crossed out the "your" and wrote "our". He also wrote, "To My Sweet Meg, I love you so much and the next 9 months are going to be awesome!! The following 18 years... I have no idea, but it will be great!! Happy early mom's day! Love, Marc."

Marc's mom, Erica Dieziger Steiner, passed away on July 14th 2009 after a very long battle with cancer. Her birthday was May 8th, which happened to fall on this year's Saturday of Mother's Day Weekend. The past couple of days have been hard for Marc and his grieving process. His heart is very heavy today, but he expressed to me that he's feeling a combination of joy and pain. It's amazing how less than a year after his mother passed, some fresh Steiner blood, unexpectedly, began to prepare to enter the world. It's a pure and simple example of the never ending circle of life. It's touching.

If baby is a boy, which I think it is, his name is going to be Eric. After Marc's mama. Because that's the way it should be.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the past, present, and future mothers!

The Official Due Date

The official due date is December 23rd! I bet the poor baby will be born on Christmas Eve or Christmas. The 24th seems to be a special number for Marc and I, so I'm willing to bet baby will be born then.

I cannot believe how much I've been sleeping lately. I did not realize that the first trimester comes with so much fatigue and an overwhelming desire to sleep. At least I have yet to experience morning sickness beyond a little nausea. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that I avoid that one. I'm not a fan of puking on a regular basis.

I'm still in shock over the fact that I will be a married mama by the time I turn 24. Life is moving fast.

I Have Bad Ass Friends

Today has been absolutely wonderful. I slept in until 10:00. The only reason I woke up was to eat the poached eggs and toast Marc made for me. I took my first prenatal vitamins with a glass of Horizon Organic Whole Milk and listened to light classical music until I was done. Then I went back to bed until 11:30. My dad called and asked if Marc and I would let him take us out to lunch, so we drove to East Austin to eat at a restaurant called El Azteca. I had a chicken mole enchilada and a chicken taco. Mexican food is good for the soul.

When I got home I went back to bed for about twenty minutes before my dear friend Katherine came over to discuss a musical performance we're doing on the 22nd. We chatted about life, music, babies, and love. She informed me that approximately 60% of women have at least 1 miscarriage in their lifetime, and it almost always happens in the first trimester. Needless to say that made me very nervous. But I'm healthy and going to continue taking care of myself and hope for the best.

After my meeting with Kat, I hung out by the pool with Marc. My friend Zoe came over to pick up her toothbrush that she left here last week (I wonder if she had an interim one...) and jumped in with us. We hung out at the pool for a couple of hours before retreating back to the apartment. Then Carmen came over. Then Tanya came over. Then Marc made pasta. Then we ate and watched Glee. Pure Bliss.

It has been so exciting to share my baby news with people. If people think it's bad or crazy, they sure fool me. Everybody get's so excited! I'm so glad, because I'm so excited too! I'm so happy I could pop. But hopefully not until the due date.

Unexpected Joy

When I first discovered I was pregnant I freaked out. I felt depressed, overwhelmed, terrified, and anxious. So much so that I went as far as to make an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. But after 24 hours of serious soul searching, several signs from the universe, and long talks with Marc, my mom, and a special couple of friends, I realized that even though none of this was planned or expected, there is no option but to have this baby. I'm fortunate beyond belief to have Marc by my side, my parents living in the same city, health insurance, and the best friends a girl could have.

As soon as I realized that we were keeping this baby, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. Joy like nothing I've felt in years. I feel like I have a new and amazing purpose. I have new motivation to live the best life possible so that my child will have the best life possible. I feel excited about working my ass off to break into the Austin theater industry. I feel excited to work hard at my job so that I might work my way up in the hospitality industry and provide quality to service to my community. I want it all. I want a family, a career, and reasons on top of reasons to grow and better the quality of who I am and what I have to give. I just feel so good. And different. Boy, do I feel different.

Baby is on it's way. Marc and I are ecstatic. There's a good chance that baby's birthday is going to be 01-01-11. How cool is that?

We're Expecting!

April, 2010 has been full of fatigue, irritability, an amazing sense of smell, frequent trips to the bathroom, and nausea. One might have initially realized that this was all in relation to the absence of Aunt Flo, but, honestly, I just thought I was tired and overworked.

I obviously thought wrong. After peeing on three sticks I discovered that I'm pregnant. Wow. Here we go...